A sane explanation of positivity

Extract from a blog of Times of India on November 4, 2018:

Positivity is not conflict free

by Pooja Bedi

Times of India Opinion » TOI Blogs / 2018-11-04 02:04

I’ve often heard people talking about positivity as something that is peaceful, optimistic, upbeat and devoid of any seemingly contrary emotions and thoughts. Therefore people automatically assume that any form of conflict is not positive. This makes “positivity” assume an identity of being non-confrontational, passive and perhaps even submissive as people develop a “whatever happens, happens for the best”, or a “go with the flow” attitude. In reality, positivity is proactive. Having a disagreement with a family member, conflict at work, or standing up and shouting and protesting for a cause is actually positive.

Positive people are real people, who live in the real world and have real problems. Positivity is not about wearing rose-tinted glasses and flaunting a forgiving attitude. It’s about challenging the system, challenging yourself, challenging equations and fighting hard for whatever it is that you believe in. Positivity is all about inner strength. What demarcates positive power and negative aggression is the emotion you work with. It’s not about what you do and says it’s about how you go about doing it. Positive people are self-aware individuals who realise that the driving force behind their conflict is not to destroy someone but to maintain their own dignity and self-respect.

Positive people always see the larger picture and aren’t afraid to stand up for it. Positive relationships aren’t when you constantly back off from a fight or suppress conflict and suffer personally just to keep the peace. You can exude positivity and radiate with inner joy only when you are empowered, not disempowered.

Taking, with a smile, the crap that everyone gives you is not positive if it’s hurting you. However, standing up to them and telling them with a smile that you are aware that there is shit being dumped onto you and that it’s not okay.

Now that’s positive! Putting someone in place when they are attacking or maligning you and firmly informing them that there are certain boundaries that they cannot cross.

Now that’s positive! Positivity is not a smooth sailing journey into la-la land. It’s a roller coaster ride in the real world from which you emerge happy, strong and vibrant because you stood up in the right way, for all the right reasons and at the right moments.

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